好想大聲叫出來

為什麼我要選擇在這麼晚的時候抱怨這麼多?

越說越難過....

控制不住的情緒好恐怖哦...

我真的感覺到自己的無助和心痛的感覺....

可能是壓抑了太久太久﹐事情的累積太多太多...

當越吵越兇的時候﹐心裡一直想著

"這不是我要的!"

"我不想這樣..."

可是卻沒辦法控制自己被憤怒佔據的理智...

傷心.....難過.....亂流眼淚和鼻涕....

弄得彼此都亂七八糟的....

為的是什麼呢?

我自己也不清楚.......

大概我的認知一直都是認為情侶要一起行動

大概我真的希望你說  " 沒有你﹐我不想去了。"

大概我要的只是你多一點的在乎和關心那個被拋下的另一半...


大概...... 也許我們還沒有熟到那個階段吧.....


有時候聽聽長輩的話是沒有錯的﹐

我真的太天真了。


唉

對不起... 害你吃不到柳丁了...........

好煩的一個星期

最近心煩到什麼事都做不了... 只想吃東西睡覺...
唉   要肥死了 >__<"
有時候生活就是這樣吧:
快樂的時候很快樂﹐ 有時候瞬間難過的要爆炸...
有時候就是這樣﹐令人難過的事情會深刻到讓你忘不掉﹐
然後沉澱到深處...

我看到了去年寫的可是放在draft裡的東西:

....
我其實覺得無所謂﹐沒什麼大不了...
反正任何事都有它的理由吧...
可是有時候問題不在於事情的發生﹐
而是你所做的選擇...
讓我覺得很不被重視....
讓我覺得我不在考慮的範圍內...
可有可無的存在感﹐會讓我一直問自己為什麼為什麼...
我難過的是我的可以或不可以﹐不會改變任何事
...........


隔了那麼久﹐我都覺得沒關係了
可是最近當那個時刻到來時﹐
我還是因為別人的一兩句而點醒....
唉  心情真的差的可以
害我今天睡了要15個小時 吧...
不過從小小的事情裡﹐我也看到了好多東西...
自己也學習要把心放寬
沒什麼好在乎的﹐干嘛這麼的執著呢?

所有的事情﹐都會有改變的一天

不管是男生女生﹐不管是大人小孩﹐

不管我們有多聰明﹐不管我們有多細心﹐

還是有很多事情我們想不到做不到...

活在當下的我們﹐

要考慮到很多事情是很困難很辛苦的...

但是那些做得到的人﹐就成功了。

身邊有很多人很多事情

使我們悲傷...  感到挫折...

但是每一件事情都會使我們成長

甚至改變我們

感情被傷到了﹐就不會再回到當初

走過了﹐就不要回頭﹐

不需要抱著遺憾活到老。

因為改變是進行式的...

在任何時候在我們不知道的情況下發生....

當無法挽回的那一天來臨時﹐

我們只能接受

因為這是我們用時間和錯誤的想法換來的結果

人類真的很渺小﹐並非所有的事情都是掌控的到的。

我們也只能用快樂的回憶填補人生中的缺陷。

要活的幸福哦~ :)

Grace

Few days ago I saw mom wrote her name, Grace, on her schedule book. I got curious, and wanna to find out where in Bible does 'grace' appear. There were many results after google it.

Right after in the next day, HBO was showing the movie, The Express. It's a movie about the life of college football hero Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. And from the movie, I was so touched by the following verse:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.

- 1Corinthians 15:10

Recently..

When I woke up in the morning, my first 20 to 30min of vision is blur. It's definitely not those sleepy eyes effect. It feels so weird, like back to those days that I had to reach out for my glasses in the morning. Well I hope it's nothing serious, just lack of sleep maybe... Haiz worries me a little now...

2010: Good movies coming soon?

Okay. So I'm expecting a few good movies this year.

Clash of the Titans

This is the story of Perseus, the mortal son of Zeus the god, going on to a mission of fighting against Hades, the vengeful god of the underworld. So here we are, having a story on greek myth! Wow! And omg we have Sam Worthington as Perseus! This really sounds so cool. It is actually a remake of the Clash of Titans (1981), and ofcourse I'm sure it can pull off well with the advanced CG and stuffs. But I just hope it has a great script and a good director. It's not that I don't trust Louis Leterrier (director of The Incredible Hulk and Danny the Dog), and I totally believe that Louis gonna do a great job, but I'm just so scared that a great story like this is badly handled. Just look at Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The Greek mythology-feel is so weak and it's just so.... teenager-ish? bad script? weird acting? bad portraying of the characters? I walk out of the theatre thinking, "Okay it's not bad, but weird, but good, but weird, but hmmm... bad?". Because I believe the story and idea is really good, though I didn't read the story book, but it's definitely a great story to do a series, and the guy is so cute (better than Harry Potter). Well I don't believe they will make a sequel now since the characters are so dumb and weird... Okay maybe I'm too harsh, it's a good teenage movie afterall.

Robin Hood

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I'm just thrilled, heart goes wild, breath taken away, to find out about this!
And why is this so? Because... *drum roll please*....
Ridley Scott is the director! Okay those asking who this is can go and knock your head three times. Ridley Scott is the director of Alien(1979), Gladiator (2000), Black Hawk Down (2001), American Gangster (2007), and Body of Lies (2008). Okay maybe there are a few bad movies inbetween, but Ridley is definitely the man. This is not the Robin Hood story we knew (the one with Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thief), rather the making of the legend we have come to know him as now. Excited? Well I am. Because we have Russell Crowe as Robin Hood, and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian.

And we also have Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and Iron Man 2 coming up. And then there's a great news for animation lovers, Toy Story 3 is coming after mid-2010! Wow Woody and Buzz! And we also have Shrek Forever After somewhere I think.

Right now I'm waiting impatiently for Alice in Wonderland and The Book of Eli to show in the cinemas! I can't wait... I love Johnny Depp and Denzel Washington.


Hmmm frankly, I think I'm expecting Toy Story 3 more than any of the above films. lol.

笨蛋

我想對你說:

你是一個大笨蛋!!! 大~~~~ 笨~~~~ 蛋~~~~ !!! >___<

我好討厭自己...

為什麼總是只想到不好的事...

總是想著要放棄...

總是想要逃避...

總是...在想著自己? 不為你著想?

我不知道了﹐我什麼都不清楚了...

這幾天真的好累﹐好不順心...

我可能把事情都看的太嚴重了

弄得大家都不開心﹐

讓你覺得做錯了...




我知道﹐其實自己是個懦弱又自卑的人.......




你的好﹐我都有看到。

你的努力﹐我都有發現!

你說的對﹐我不夠仰望 神。

謝謝你﹐提醒我要更加細心。

唉.... 我真的好糟糕....... :(

So bad

Have you ever had the feeling of waking up in the morning and feel the pain in your heart that aches on every beat it makes? I had that this morning. It's one of those morings that i woke up from a bad and terribly sad dream. The previous one i had was almost 10 years ago, and i dreamt that my mom don't wanna  buy me bread. LOL. I had a dream this morning that I was meeting my love in the theme park, but he never showed up. I went around the place while waiting for him, I was so alone and by myself. As the park was about to close on time at 11pm, he called me and said he is still at home and decided not to come. I was panic and mad and so sad. In the dream I was crying and yelling over the phone. I kinda woke up by that heavy anger and hatred. But what I really feel is the sadness followed through. Goshh I'm so glad it's just a dream.

X___X

今年的情人節為什麼會跟新年在同一天呢?

好不公平哦。

又一次的， 情人节只有自己而已......

这不能怪谁或什么， 只能说是我注定要一个人过这天吧 。



好累哦

觉得自己总是在担心害怕其他人的感受...

随时都在为了一些事和人做出小小的牺牲和贡献...

我觉得我快找不到自己了....

到最后都会弄得自己很难过很烦燥。

为什么没有人可以了解我????

我累了....



这几天了解到，每个人都是自私的....

永远第一个想到的是自己，最爱的也是自己，最好的会给自己，花钱在自己身上也最多...

每个人都自私自利的活在这个世界上

这也包括我。





我想回台湾。

毛毛蟲

我想起來了

經歷了那麼多

我幫自己做了一個繭

一個安全的保護

等待自己的成長和蛻變

但是...

我忘記要變成什麼了