New World Order

I could still remember so clear that in Feb2007, just a week before Fusion Show, Dad asked me to get a degree no matter what. He said, "The basic education level that a person should have, is getting a degree.". Back then, I wana work after our Fusion Show. But family big shit starts to happen and my decision for myself made me a villain. Alright then, I should listen to them, and further my studies. When I just started to enjoy my life in NTU with Eunice, I was forced to accept the fact that family is facing financial problems (or not actually), and had to come South Africa to work. I fought against this and... nothing good happened. Once again, unwillingly, I had to accept and deal with what ever they have decided for me.

During my stay in SA so far, I think I do the most is thought about my life alot. And I have realised one thing is that a big failure of my life is that I am not financially independent. Which means, I have no saving thats gonna last long enough for me to survive somewhere or make a decision for myself. Someone once told me "Always make sure you have many doors open for you when one shuts."

So, though I don't like what I have or what I am doing, I work hard and make sure every day counts. Life is yours, it is up to you to accept or fought for it.

But life is full of changes.



Now, my dad wants me to study, again.



I really hoped... that things aren't the way it should be right now... During this period of stay, I have lost too many, and too many regrets. It hurts so much to think about.

I am coming home baby

It's not complicated.
Simply just me.

To be or not to be

Should I accept the truth?
Or should I fake my own reality.

A question to give a deep thought.

Disgusted

They went through my files.

They went through my stuffs.

They mess up my life.

They put me to death.

Disgusted.

Tired.

Help...

Anyone...

Please.

The Weak Minded

That's best describe my current state.

My life becomes so plain and dull. Nothing but of work. No hopes or dreams or thoughts. Just living, awake but unconcious.

Somehow I don't feel sad anymore. Ya I think I'm not sad. Not at all anymore. Not even angry or mad. I look at myself in the mirror everyday in the morning, seeing the same old me, but something is gone.






I wana fly.
But I have lost my wings.

Blue Monday

So sad to think. Each breath i take it just hurt so much.




I guess my movie has a sad ending and it's about to end.